Mine:
Spoiler
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█
Item #: SCP-POO-J
Object Class: I EAT PILE OF DIRTY TASTY CRAP
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-POO-J is to be kept in a HAMBURGER-lined containment chamber located in AREA FREKIN' 51, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 0 JOE FROM BLUES CLUES armed with MUNNY.
In the event that SCP-POO-J ever begins POOPING its FACE, NO ONE is to KILL SCP-POO-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force 9999-7 (''BLUE'S CLUES'') is to be dispatched to SCP-POO-J's last known location.
Description: SCP-POO-J is a CRAPPY DRAGON. Like most members of its species, it is able to POOP AND CRAP, and regularly eats twice its own weight in HAMBURGER each day.
SCP-POO-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with LOLS, which causes it to turn into TWO TOILETS. Whenever this happens, all FRIENDSHIPISSTOOPIDMAGIC within a PEEPEE kilometer radius will begin to SMILE uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to ALDOLF HITLAR. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-POO-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
Recovery Log: SCP-POO-J was first located in LALA LAND where the CHARGE were using it in order to SHUT THE FREKIN' PONY CRAP UP. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force 9999-7 (''BLUE'S CLUES'') was able to recover the object with only 78236y47836478236743267461273846827467236473261784638217468723618762137463876247832674673826476176347826321784678213647623746278316472364782364732672164872 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log POO-1
Dr. HITLAR: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr HITLAR, and I am about to test SCP-POO's reaction to IPHONE 9000. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr CRAP?
Dr. CRAP: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. HITLAR: Excellent! I am now introducing the IPHONE 9000 to POO... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. CRAP: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
HITLAR: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN SMIELYFACE:D! IT'S GOT MEIN SMIELYFACE:D! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
In light of incident POO-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
Item #: SCP-POO-J
Object Class: I EAT PILE OF DIRTY TASTY CRAP
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-POO-J is to be kept in a HAMBURGER-lined containment chamber located in AREA FREKIN' 51, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 0 JOE FROM BLUES CLUES armed with MUNNY.
In the event that SCP-POO-J ever begins POOPING its FACE, NO ONE is to KILL SCP-POO-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force 9999-7 (''BLUE'S CLUES'') is to be dispatched to SCP-POO-J's last known location.
Description: SCP-POO-J is a CRAPPY DRAGON. Like most members of its species, it is able to POOP AND CRAP, and regularly eats twice its own weight in HAMBURGER each day.
SCP-POO-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with LOLS, which causes it to turn into TWO TOILETS. Whenever this happens, all FRIENDSHIPISSTOOPIDMAGIC within a PEEPEE kilometer radius will begin to SMILE uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to ALDOLF HITLAR. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-POO-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
Recovery Log: SCP-POO-J was first located in LALA LAND where the CHARGE were using it in order to SHUT THE FREKIN' PONY CRAP UP. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force 9999-7 (''BLUE'S CLUES'') was able to recover the object with only 78236y47836478236743267461273846827467236473261784638217468723618762137463876247832674673826476176347826321784678213647623746278316472364782364732672164872 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log POO-1
Dr. HITLAR: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr HITLAR, and I am about to test SCP-POO's reaction to IPHONE 9000. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr CRAP?
Dr. CRAP: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. HITLAR: Excellent! I am now introducing the IPHONE 9000 to POO... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. CRAP: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
HITLAR: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN SMIELYFACE:D! IT'S GOT MEIN SMIELYFACE:D! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
In light of incident POO-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█