Why does everyone hate me? Why does everyone want me out of their lives?
They lie to make me feel better, but I cry myself to sleep every night knowing that there is only hate for me. I've been bullied since I was in daycare back when my mom had a job. 15 straight years of nothing but torment. I try to talk to people but everyone I talk to gets hurt and I don't know why. They get surgery, they get sick, someone they love dies, ect. I can't do anything... My friends suffer in my presence. All I can do is leave. I just cause trouble. Family's not any better. They reject me. My fault dad left. He wanted a boy, but he got a girl instead, so he left. Once, I caused trouble when I was little. All little kids are brats in the beginning. I caused trouble, and a police man told my family to put me up for adoption... Something which they regret not doing. 15 year old girl with Autism can't grow up. Always a child, she is. Can't make her own food. Family has to do it and they hate it. Waste of time, money and space she is. She can't even get a date because everyone thinks she's ugly. She doesn't have any friends. She just sits alone, wallowing in her own self pity. Everyone calls her a rat. Goody little two shoes can't keep her trap shut. Always gotta do the right thing, and you wonder why everyone hates you. All her friends abandon her for someone who isn't sad all the time, someone fun and happy. 7th grade math class, surrounded by all the people who like her tears, she turns a pen cap on her wrists. They laugh more. Never leave her alone. Always longing for conversation, but can never keep one going. Endless depression, empty feeling in her chest, wanting nothing but love, but she gets none. Writes disturbing things so she doesn't feel so alone. Makes characters to talk to because they can't reject her. Desperate to keep her sanity, but she just drives herself insane. Wonderful boy Tommy comes, but she fucked everything up and he hates her now. I just can't anymore. Slowly starving because I barely have any fat on my body. In constant physical and emotional pain. Crying like a damn baby for no good reason. Getting kicked out of class because I'm too depressed to do the work. My writing sucks, my art is awful and my ideas are stupid. I spend lunch crying in the stairwell as my "friends" just walk past me, even pushing me out of the way when I try to say hi. Unwanted and unloved, that's all...

But seriously, I don't know the situation or if it as serious as you're making it out to be, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is to keep going. To kind of quote a movie from how i remember it, It's not about how hard you get hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep going forward. Don't be depressed about if you can't do something good, just get good or move on to something you can be good at. Don't just expect people to just notice how lonely you are and veer off their course to comfort you, barely anyone gets that kind of treatment on a consistent basis, trust me, I know, I spent my whole life with very little friends at all. You just have to go out there and reach out, don't be afraid of a little failure every now and again. And you could probably dismiss this as "Oh, you don't actually care", I'd like to inform you that I am capable of being a dick, so if I didn't care I could have just ignored this entirely, or just leave with the joke that i put above here. So, in conclusion, get well, ok.