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Funny School Stories?

#1 by Sic
Anyone have any funny/weird school stories they want to share? I'll share one or two to get the thread started.


This was a usual occurrence in middle school between my friends and I at the cafeteria table, we'd often get our gross cafeteria left overs and make an even more gut wrenching soup with those left overs. I remember one time in particular we pour chocolate milk, spinach water, and mustard together in this little plastic cup. We just mixed it together and egged one of our friends from the group to drink it. What he didn't know was that one of us had hacked a loogie into the soup, needless to say he was less than impressed when we told him between laughs.

One of my friends, inspired by the "Captain Underpants" books, placed ketchup packets under the seat of the toilets so that when you sat down they sprayed on the back of your pant legs. There were one or two 6th graders we caught wiping ketchup from their pant legs in the bathroom. My friend had to keep from laughing when they made an announcement over the PA to cut it out.

Anyone else wanna share?
"Is he dead?"
"You wanna check his pulse?"
"Um, let's just say he's dead."

Re: Funny School Stories?

#3 by juanjp600
Spoiler
We had a teacher who was so strict, you weren't allowed to breathe in her lessons. She used to stand at the front going, "NO BREATHING!" And you had the whole morning to get through. *aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* *pah* The weak ones just used to keel over and die. You'd hear them going down behind you. *ker-poom* *ker-poom* *ker-poom* And there was always a whiny kid going, "Miss! Can I go out and do some breathing?" And she'd say, "No! You've got all playtime to do it in!" "Oh, go on Miss, oh, go on!" Do you know at the beginning of the week there were forty-eight kids in my class. At the end of the week there were only five of them left. Yeah. Do you know at the end of the day you'd be stepping over kids just to get out the room. Oh no! There's Melanie. That's a shame, she was really nice. There's Dave. Eheheh. Hard luck, Dave! Always knew you were a bit weak. Do you know, people say to me, if that's true, how come you're here to tell the tale? Fair enough, and I'll tell you. It's because, when I was at school, we used to sit at desks. We didn't sit 'round tables like you do now. We used to sit at desks, with lids. And some of us figured out, what you had to do was snatch a quick breath under the desk lid when she wasn't looking. So once more, from the beginning. "NO BREATHING!" *aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* *pah* The weak ones: *ker-poom* *ker-poom* *ker-poom* The whiny ones: "Miss! Can I go out and do some breathing? "No! You've got all playtime to do it in!" "Oh, go on Miss, oh, go on!" Us lot: *PAH* *gasp gasp gasp* *ptoom* Ah! That was the mistake! Slamming the desk lid down! If you made a noise with the desk lid, it was OUT! School PRISON! There was a school prison underneath the school hall where they used to string you up from the wallbars. *sqfluut* "Miss! I've been up here for three weeks... and there's rats! And they're nibbling my toenails!" So I figured it out. What you had to do was put your thumb 'round the edge of the desk lid so when it went down it didn't make any noise at all. Once more, from the beginning. "NO BREATHING!" *aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* *pah* The weak ones: *ker-poom* *ker-poom* *ker-poom* The whiny ones: "Miss! Can I go out and do some breathing?" "No! You've got all playtime to do it in!" "Oh, go on Miss, oh, go on!" These other kids: *PAH* *gasp gasp* *ptoom* OUT! School PRISON! *sqfluut* "Miss! I've been up here for three weeks and there's... rats! And they're nibbling... my toenails! Miss!" Me: Thumb 'round the edge of the desk. *PAH* *gasp gasp gasp* No noise at all. SURVIVAL!

Re: Funny School Stories?

#6 by D-9999
Here's an actual funny story. It was a Tuesday if I'm not mistaken, last week. We were doing absolutely nothing, so I decided to play Minecraft out of boredom. Mohammed(who's now my boyfriend) joined the game and started building giant dildos in May's(a friend of mine from Sudan) garden. May as a person doesn't curse, like at all. So her reaction was priceless.
Image
Moving on, she actually met him with a verbal response in the middle of class. She said something along the lines of "I do not appreciate your sense of humour consisting of sex toys in a garden". And I mean she said it loud, the professor looked up from his desk and was about to say something. At that moment, the entire class started laughing, being the immature shites they are. That included me, because I didn't expect May to get all direct. Following up, I decided to do something stupid and add on to the idiocy with everyone's favourite; awful puns. I said, after the laughter died down, "Looks like you MAY be mad that sex toys erected in your garden." The entire class went silent. Then the laughter picked up quite a lot, to the point where I couldn't hear myself think. The day after that was fairly awkward, but luckily all parties involved got a laugh out of it, even May did. This MAY or MAY not be funny to those not involved.
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Re: Funny School Stories?

#7 by guldx1
juanjpro wrote:
Spoiler
We had a teacher who was so strict, you weren't allowed to breathe in her lessons. She used to stand at the front going, "NO BREATHING!" And you had the whole morning to get through. *aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* *pah* The weak ones just used to keel over and die. You'd hear them going down behind you. *ker-poom* *ker-poom* *ker-poom* And there was always a whiny kid going, "Miss! Can I go out and do some breathing?" And she'd say, "No! You've got all playtime to do it in!" "Oh, go on Miss, oh, go on!" Do you know at the beginning of the week there were forty-eight kids in my class. At the end of the week there were only five of them left. Yeah. Do you know at the end of the day you'd be stepping over kids just to get out the room. Oh no! There's Melanie. That's a shame, she was really nice. There's Dave. Eheheh. Hard luck, Dave! Always knew you were a bit weak. Do you know, people say to me, if that's true, how come you're here to tell the tale? Fair enough, and I'll tell you. It's because, when I was at school, we used to sit at desks. We didn't sit 'round tables like you do now. We used to sit at desks, with lids. And some of us figured out, what you had to do was snatch a quick breath under the desk lid when she wasn't looking. So once more, from the beginning. "NO BREATHING!" *aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* *pah* The weak ones: *ker-poom* *ker-poom* *ker-poom* The whiny ones: "Miss! Can I go out and do some breathing? "No! You've got all playtime to do it in!" "Oh, go on Miss, oh, go on!" Us lot: *PAH* *gasp gasp gasp* *ptoom* Ah! That was the mistake! Slamming the desk lid down! If you made a noise with the desk lid, it was OUT! School PRISON! There was a school prison underneath the school hall where they used to string you up from the wallbars. *sqfluut* "Miss! I've been up here for three weeks... and there's rats! And they're nibbling my toenails!" So I figured it out. What you had to do was put your thumb 'round the edge of the desk lid so when it went down it didn't make any noise at all. Once more, from the beginning. "NO BREATHING!" *aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* *pah* The weak ones: *ker-poom* *ker-poom* *ker-poom* The whiny ones: "Miss! Can I go out and do some breathing?" "No! You've got all playtime to do it in!" "Oh, go on Miss, oh, go on!" These other kids: *PAH* *gasp gasp* *ptoom* OUT! School PRISON! *sqfluut* "Miss! I've been up here for three weeks and there's... rats! And they're nibbling... my toenails! Miss!" Me: Thumb 'round the edge of the desk. *PAH* *gasp gasp gasp* No noise at all. SURVIVAL!
Didn't expect a Michael Rosen story here
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