Granted. The time machine malfunctions and sends you to before the universe existed, and doesn't let you come back.

I wish that i was an amazing game developer who didn't milk his fans for money.

Granted. Your wish is so good that it stops the thread because no one can figure out how to make it go wrong.

I wish that i could invent an interplanetary jetpack.

Output: The cutlass is not visibly different, but when used on a person, they die in 0.00001 yoctoseconds.

Input: Every Mario game on Very Fine.

Output: A larger version of SCP-106 which yelled "NO IT'S NOT" and proceeded to kill multiple Class D personnel.

Input: A can of sour cream and onion Pringles on Very Fine.