Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#21
Here's my result.
Spoiler
Item #: SCP-511-J

Object Class: euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-511-J is to be kept in a ham sandwich-lined containment chamber located in SCP Foundation, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 ggggg armed with dildos.

In the event that SCP-511-J ever begins masturbating its leg, Mota' nugga' is to spoderman has swegggggggggg SCP-511-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''SCP'') is to be dispatched to SCP-511-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-511-J is a adxsd pig. Like most members of its species, it is able to RAPE YOU!, and regularly eats twice its own weight in ham sandwich each day.

SCP-511-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with WE NEED THE GOLDEN PENGISSSS!!!! facility, which causes it to turn into nice. Whenever this happens, all hate within a 61 kilometer radius will begin to someone uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Phuck-tastic. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-511-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-511-J was first located in Dr. Mat's office where the De loce' were using it in order to Hit timmy in the face. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''SCP'') was able to recover the object with only 99999999999999999999999999999 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 511-1

Dr. Liocase: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Liocase, and I am about to test SCP-511's reaction to me. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Mat?
Dr. Mat: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Liocase: Excellent! I am now introducing the me to 511... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Mat: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Liocase: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN arm! IT'S GOT MEIN arm! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 511-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
And here's one my brother ██████ made
Spoiler
Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: fackthepolice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a mouse-lined containment chamber located in Area Starts, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than -0 Doctor armed with you're momma.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins fucking its pingas, Ivo Robotnik is to cream cheese SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force omega-7 (''Fallout New Vegas'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a train dragon. Like most members of its species, it is able to Snoop-pingas, and regularly eats twice its own weight in mouse each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with pokemon, which causes it to turn into flanet. Whenever this happens, all SANIC!!EW^[email protected]# within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to cars...... MUST DIE! uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Micheal Jakson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in Robotropalis where the NCR were using it in order to first immortality then the bitches. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force omega-7 (''Fallout New Vegas'') was able to recover the object with only @$$-000000000000000000000000000000000 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to flamingo. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Komon?
Dr. Komon: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the flamingo to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Komon: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN pi____! IT'S GOT MEIN pi____! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 7-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-_
Dead for the most part, comes back occasionally.
Nicht hier in den meisten Fällen, kommt gelegentlich zurück.
No aquí a veces, visitas cuando tengo ganas.
Poissa, tulee takaisin satunnaisesti.

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#22
SCP-087-J A Brony
Spoiler
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-087-J

Object Class: Totally Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-087-J is to be kept in a Cheezburger-lined containment chamber located in Somewhere Over The Rainbow, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3.14159265359… Fireman armed with Potatoes.

In the event that SCP-087-J ever begins Fapping its Pingas, Dr. Bright is to Eat SCP-087-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force λ-7 (‘’MLP:FiM’‘) is to be dispatched to SCP-087-J’s last known location.

Description: SCP-087-J is a Gay Brony. Like most members of its species, it is able to Enable Able (SCP-076-2), and regularly eats twice its own weight in Cheezburger each day.

SCP-087-J’s unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Your Mother, which causes it to turn into Cookie. Whenever this happens, all Ponies within a 69 kilometer radius will begin to Sit uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Justin Bieber. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-087-J’s anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-087-J was first located in Ponyville where the Boston Buttheads were using it in order to Take Youtube Poops Down. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force λ-7 (‘’MLP:FiM’’) was able to recover the object with only OVER NINETHOUSAND civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 087-1

Dr. Fukken Stawikowski: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Fukken Stawikowski, and I am about to test SCP-087’s reaction to Beer. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr █████?

Dr. █████: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Fukken Stawikowski: Excellent! I am now introducing the Beer to 087… hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. █████: Making a note; ‘subject shows high capacity for learning’.

Fukken Stawikowski: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it… MEIN GOTT! MEIN PINGAS! IT’S GOT MEIN PINGAS! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 087-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. – O5-█
SCP-123-J A Hater
Spoiler
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-123-J

Object Class: EXTREM XMKETUR

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-123-J is to be kept in a Spadinner-lined containment chamber located in The Hell, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3 Class-Ds armed with The Faggotry Protector.

In the event that SCP-123-J ever begins Tipping its Tastatur, Dr. Robotnik is to Fuck SCP-123-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (‘’Spengebab Skerpents’‘) is to be dispatched to SCP-123-J’s last known location.

Description: SCP-123-J is a Gay Troll. Like most members of its species, it is able to Troll And Don’t get a Life, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Spadinner each day.

SCP-123-J’s unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Bronies, which causes it to turn into A Faggot. Whenever this happens, all Bronies within a 14 kilometer radius will begin to Butthurt uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to OP. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-123-J’s anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-123-J was first located in Faggotripolis where the Boston Leedles were using it in order to Waste Chocolate Milk. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (‘’Spengebab Skerpents’’) was able to recover the object with only ∞ civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 123-1

Dr. Sp████e: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Sp████e, and I am about to test SCP-123’s reaction to PC. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Snimfan?

Dr. Snimfan: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Sp████e: Excellent! I am now introducing the PC to 123… hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Snimfan: Making a note; ‘subject shows high capacity for learning’.

Sp████e: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it… MEIN GOTT! MEIN SOUL! IT’S GOT MEIN SOUL! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 123-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. – O5-█

Note: If The Bronies Begin To Butthurt Keep Them Locked In the Pocket Dimension

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#23
This thread's been dead for about 5 months, so I should lock this.

But I'll let it slide, since this sub-forum really makes me sad. It seems that people favor topics about the game and the off-topic subforum to this, and most good threads about the Foundation get locked since they're bumped, or simply not posted in.
Souda
Kuriimu souda
Nomitai na
gIVe me your rare kumikos this is a robbery!!

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#24
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-106-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-106-J is to be kept in a Titanium Alloy-lined containment chamber located in Site-19, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Site Guards armed with Fn P90's and combat pistols.

In the event that SCP-106-J ever begins hearing its [REDACTED], Dr.Right is to Shoot SCP-106-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force IIV-7 (''Spike tail'') is to be dispatched to SCP-106-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-106-J is a Good protceratops. Like most members of its species, it is able to eating pizza, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Titanium Alloy each day.

SCP-106-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with a rock, which causes it to turn into SCP-106. Whenever this happens, all Dr.[REDACTED] within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to Exploding uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Dr.Bright. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-106-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-106-J was first located in SCPFantown where the R.O.B.L.O.X were using it in order to Kill SCP-682. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force IIV-7 (''Spike tail'') was able to recover the object with only ███ civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 106-1

Dr. NIEN: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr NIEN, and I am about to test SCP-106's reaction to City's. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Jeff?
Dr. Jeff: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. NIEN: Excellent! I am now introducing the City's to 106... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Jeff: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

NIEN: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN [DATA EXPUNGED]! IT'S GOT MEIN [DATA EXPUNGED]! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 106-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#25
Spoiler
Item #: SCP-1337-J

Object Class: OMEGA SUPER SHITHEAD KETER

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1337-J is to be kept in a Gorilla Munch-lined containment chamber located in Irontaco's Ass, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 99999 Prostitute armed with Diamond House.

In the event that SCP-1337-J ever begins raping its penis, DR. DICKHOLE is to lick SCP-1337-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Famicom-7 (''Porn'') is to be dispatched to SCP-1337-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-1337-J is a Gay Jim Carrey. Like most members of its species, it is able to sucking dick, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Gorilla Munch each day.

SCP-1337-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Forums, which causes it to turn into Thisisme. Whenever this happens, all Keyboards within a 8008 kilometer radius will begin to suck uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Michael Jackson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-1337-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-1337-J was first located in My ass where the Licks were using it in order to SUCK A DICK. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Famicom-7 (''Porn'') was able to recover the object with only 1 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 1337-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-1337's reaction to Bumhole. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Omniary?

Dr. Omniary: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Bumhole to 1337... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Omniary: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Ass! IT'S GOT MEIN Ass! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG
In light of incident 1337-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
Oh god I just died
Also Known as Combine
http://scpcbgame.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3154
Creator of the glorious Omega Shitheads

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#26
Spoiler
Item #: SCP-3-J

Object Class: KETUUUUR

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3-J is to be kept in a YOUR MAMA-lined containment chamber located in SCP-682, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Profession armed with Guitars.

In the event that SCP-3-J ever begins flying its leg, Klaus is to cook SCP-3-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force µ-7 (''Klaus and Gunter's Adventure'') is to be dispatched to SCP-3-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-3-J is a famous Monkey. Like most members of its species, it is able to flying Fish, and regularly eats twice its own weight in YOUR MAMA each day.

SCP-3-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Nun, which causes it to turn into Bacon. Whenever this happens, all Priests within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to spit uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to BULLAT IN YA A$$ GANGSTA!!!. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-3-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-3-J was first located in Ya Mama's Ass where the The Gunters were using it in order to Flying through the whole UNIVERS. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force µ-7 (''Klaus and Gunter's Adventure'') was able to recover the object with only 420-J civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 3-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-3's reaction to Headshot. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Hanz?

Dr. Hanz: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Headshot to 3... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Hanz: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Ass! IT'S GOT MEIN Ass! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 3-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Spoiler
Item #: SCP-99999-J

Object Class: 日本語

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-99999-J is to be kept in a サラダ-lined containment chamber located in 病院, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 5 男 armed with 人参.

In the event that SCP-99999-J ever begins フライング its 尻, 医者 is to 調理する SCP-99999-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force 1337-7 (''らき☆すた'') is to be dispatched to SCP-99999-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-99999-J is a 美しい 犬. Like most members of its species, it is able to フライングプリースト, and regularly eats twice its own weight in サラダ each day.

SCP-99999-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with 車, which causes it to turn into ハウス. Whenever this happens, all 水泳 within a 8 kilometer radius will begin to フロート uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to 初音ミク. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-99999-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-99999-J was first located in 東京 where the 日本人 were using it in order to 死にかけている. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force 1337-7 (''らき☆すた'') was able to recover the object with only 385738573757453 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 99999-1

Dr. Schmitz: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Schmitz, and I am about to test SCP-99999's reaction to エスカレーター. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr 由香?

Dr. 由香: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Schmitz: Excellent! I am now introducing the エスカレーター to 99999... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. 由香: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Schmitz: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN アーム! IT'S GOT MEIN アーム! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 99999-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
I got bored :D
こんにちは。私の名前はユカです!はじめまして!
My Steam Account

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#27
I don't like posting in old threads, but...
Spoiler
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: [email protected]$pudding-J

Object Class: starfish

Special Containment Procedures: [email protected]$pudding-J is to be kept in a yogurt-lined containment chamber located in My house, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 455434535453456589759687659876987869280 gambler armed with faec.

In the event that [email protected]$pudding-J ever begins fucking its anus, Bill Nye is to fly [email protected]$pudding-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force ewi-7 (''Something'') is to be dispatched to [email protected]$pudding-J's last known location.

Description: [email protected]$pudding-J is a hideous taco. Like most members of its species, it is able to pry monster, and regularly eats twice its own weight in yogurt each day.

[email protected]$pudding-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with brains, which causes it to turn into rocket. Whenever this happens, all REDACTED within a 324edw kilometer radius will begin to fly again uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Deinsel Crocker. Whether or not this is at all related to [email protected]$pudding-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: [email protected]$pudding-J was first located in fvvkdhgbvdlfkj land where the Koopa Futball Players were using it in order to asplode the north 'murica. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force ewi-7 (''Something'') was able to recover the object with only 3720948qqy040y849 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log [email protected]$pudding-1

Dr. Scroffin: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Scroffin, and I am about to test [email protected]$pudding's reaction to Monkey. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Yeeter?
Dr. Yeeter: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Scroffin: Excellent! I am now introducing the Monkey to [email protected]$pudding... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Yeeter: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Scroffin: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN pancreas! IT'S GOT MEIN pancreas! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident [email protected]$pudding-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█
eric

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#28
Mine:
Spoiler
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█
Item #: SCP-007-J
Object Class: Ridiculous
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-007-J is to be kept in a roasted maggots-lined containment chamber located in Foundation's toilet at Site-17, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 13 cabdrivers armed with sweets.
In the event that SCP-007-J ever begins licking its arm, Jeans-On is to eat SCP-007-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (''The Losers'') is to be dispatched to SCP-007-J's last known location.
Description: SCP-007-J is a happy giant frog. Like most members of its species, it is able to build a tank, and regularly eats twice its own weight in roasted maggots each day.
SCP-007-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with real orgasms, which causes it to turn into hundreds of flying human noses. Whenever this happens, all windows within a 14 kilometer radius will begin to be cleaned uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.
In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to everyone. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-007-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.
Recovery Log: SCP-007-J was first located in an old school bus where some Idiots were using it in order to kill themselves. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (''The Losers'') was able to recover the object with only 500,000 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log 007-1
Dr. Notamerican: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Notamerican, and I am about to test SCP-007's reaction to books. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Lastname?
Dr. Lastname: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. Notamerican: Excellent! I am now introducing the books to 007... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. Lastname: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
Notamerican: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN BRAIN! IT'S GOT MEIN BRAIN! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
In light of incident 007-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█ 
General Discussion?... so there once was a Private Discussion! Now tell me, did he ever win any war?... And whothefuck is General Off Topic???

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#29
Item #: SCP-5-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5-J is to be kept in a Beef Jerkey-lined containment chamber located in Area 51, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Gunz armed with Pencil.

In the event that SCP-5-J ever begins Trolling its head, Dr. Penis is to troll SCP-5-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force lol-7 (''Soul Eater'') is to be dispatched to SCP-5-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-5-J is a Shitty Squid. Like most members of its species, it is able to dead Bird, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Beef Jerkey each day.

SCP-5-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with guy, which causes it to turn into dad. Whenever this happens, all mom within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to shit uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Chuck Norris. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-5-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-5-J was first located in Pyrotown where the steelers were using it in order to Kill everyone. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force lol-7 (''Soul Eater'') was able to recover the object with only 1098 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 5-1

Dr. Medic: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Medic, and I am about to test SCP-5's reaction to Trol;. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Pence?
Dr. Pence: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Medic: Excellent! I am now introducing the Trol; to 5... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Pence: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Medic: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN arm! IT'S GOT MEIN arm! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 5-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Re: SCP-[even number]-J Results

#30
Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Unsafe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a dick-lined containment chamber located in A Box, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 4 Sucking dicks armed with Sticks.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins Pissing its Ass, Dr. Troll is to Hairy SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Fuck-7 (''Slenderman'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a Horny Turtle. Like most members of its species, it is able to Horny Person, and regularly eats twice its own weight in dick each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Piss, which causes it to turn into Piece of Shit. Whenever this happens, all Shit within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to Horny uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Ze Medic from TF2. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in My ass where the TROLLS were using it in order to Suck a dick. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Fuck-7 (''Slenderman'') was able to recover the object with only OVER 9000! civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1

Dr. Lol: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Lol, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to penis. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Your mom?
Dr. Your mom: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Lol: Excellent! I am now introducing the penis to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Your mom: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Lol: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Dick! IT'S GOT MEIN Dick! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 7-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5