Good job.Kenneth crooker wrote:I'll make a few more edits regarding that.Awesomeguy147 wrote:*snip*
Overall, I actually like this concept. It's not the best I've ever seen, but it is kind of interesting. The execution needs some work though. Things like the foundations treatment towards it ( Don't give him books that suit his interests (Perhaps you could argue that it is to lower the odds of him going into rage, but that is simply not the Foundation's way of doing things. Furthermore, despite the fact that he could be dangerous when enraged, it's rather easy to sedate him the way he is now so there really isn't any real need to cater to his interests. The foundation is a "Prison, not a hotel") and the fact that they don't seem care about the fact he killed 5 men could be fixed also.). It also doesn't help that this SCP reminded me of "Duke" a humanoid SCP that was so terrible that they made a Foundation Tale about killing it. (In fact, I should probably post a link to it here, just to give an example of what not to do: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/decomm:scp-083-d and while I'm at it, I'll link this guide: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/how-to-write-an-scp You might have already read it, but I recommend giving the humanoid section a quick glance and a little consideration.)
Again the concept isn't bad, but it's the kind of concept that would take a lot work in order to execute it right.