Undertow Games Forum

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 12:43 am**

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-15-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-15-J is to be kept in a icecream-lined containment chamber located in My Mom's House, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3 scientists armed with hotdogs.

In the event that SCP-15-J ever begins spreading its more penis, Thisisme is to troll SCP-15-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''My Little Pony'') is to be dispatched to SCP-15-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-15-J is a fast armadillo. Like most members of its species, it is able to hanging, and regularly eats twice its own weight in icecream each day.

SCP-15-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with moms, which causes it to turn into penis. Whenever this happens, all penis within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to dey hating uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Michael Jackson. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-15-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-15-J was first located in Spartacus where the Giants were using it in order to "Turn everyone into zombies!". Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''Hogan's Heroes'') was able to recover the object with only OVER 9000! civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 15-1

Dr. Steiner: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Steiner, and I am about to test SCP-15's reaction to troll-face. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Guy?

Dr. Guy: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Steiner: Excellent! I am now introducing the troll-face to 15... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Guy: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Steiner: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN penis! IT'S GOT MEIN penis! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 15-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

If only I'd known! It's a trap, just asking people to put things...

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:54 am**

Sparks wrote:Item #: SCP-3580-J

Object Class: KETER, Must be destroyed as soon as possible.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3580-J is to be kept in a shit-lined containment chamber located in Arctic base-094 Delta, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 10 children armed with super soaker waterguns .

In the event that SCP-3580-J ever begins using its voice, former prime minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen is to debate SCP-3580-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force epsilon-7 (''Friendship is magic'') is to be dispatched to SCP-3580-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-3580-J is a grim politician. Like most members of its species, it is able to Severely lower IQs, and regularly eats twice its own weight in shit each day.

SCP-3580-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Stillpoint, which causes it to turn into chamber. Whenever this happens, all humans within a 25 kilometer radius will begin to throw up uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Helle Thorning Schmidt (the danish prime minister). Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-3580-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-3580-J was first located in Silent Hill where the black belts were using it in order to turn Europe into a living hell. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force epsilon-7 (''Friendship is magic'') was able to recover the object with only 9001 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 3580-1

Dr. Hinterseehr: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hinterseehr, and I am about to test SCP-3580's reaction to money. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Isaksen?

Dr. Isaksen: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hinterseehr: Excellent! I am now introducing the money to 3580... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Isaksen: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hinterseehr: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN BRAIN! IT'S GOT MEIN BRAIN! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 3580-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:20 pm**

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-Chuthluru-J

Object Class: KETAH

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-Chuthluru-J is to be kept in a Green and Rotten Tomatoes-lined containment chamber located in My Basement with 682 smoking 420-J, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 18.000.000 Zombies that Eat Asses armed with Maxwell's Notepad.

In the event that SCP-Chuthluru-J ever begins Fucking its Head!, Fox is to Shoot the Rainbow Cannon in SCP-Chuthluru-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force oMEGA-7 (''King of dah [REDACTED]'') is to be dispatched to SCP-Chuthluru-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-Chuthluru-J is a Fucking Dog. Like most members of its species, it is able to Run its Leg, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Green and Rotten Tomatoes each day.

SCP-Chuthluru-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Dinner, which causes it to turn into LOADSA LOADSA LOADSA, MONEY MONEY MONEY. Whenever this happens, all Dogs within a 9001 kilometer radius will begin to Fuck another dogs uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Irontaco. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-Chuthluru-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-Chuthluru-J was first located in 682 Jelly where the Team Dark were using it in order to Kill whoever created MLP and ban Destructoid and Glitch from the forums, but Fox was here to save the day!. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force oMEGA-7 (''King of dah [REDACTED]'') was able to recover the object with only 18.000.000.000.000.000.000 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log Chuthluru-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-Chuthluru's reaction to Fuck. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Stoooooopid?
Dr. Stoooooopid: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Fuck to Chuthluru... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Stoooooopid: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Ass! IT'S GOT MEIN Ass! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident Chuthluru-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:45 pm**

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-322-J

Object Class: spartan

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-322-J is to be kept in a bacon-lined containment chamber located in The Bacon Factory, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 45 super robots of deadly death armed with lasers of deathly death.

In the event that SCP-322-J ever begins cracking its knuckles, Dr. [Redacted] is to give bacon to SCP-322-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force alpha-7 (''The shiny ass'') is to be dispatched to SCP-322-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-322-J is a badass sexy beast. Like most members of its species, it is able to kill anything, and regularly eats twice its own weight in bacon each day.

SCP-322-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with sexy voices, which causes it to turn into a killing machine. Whenever this happens, all living things within a 24 kilometer radius will begin to run in fear uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Dr. Isaac. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-322-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-322-J was first located in Potatoland where the Chaos Insurgency were using it in order to eat all the bacon!....and causing the end of the world, but that's not important. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force alpha-7 (''The shiny ass'') was able to recover the object with only 9999 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 322-1

Dr. Makarov: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Makarov, and I am about to test SCP-322's reaction to nuclear warheads. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr BOB?
Dr. BOB: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Makarov: Excellent! I am now introducing the nuclear warheads to 322... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. BOB: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Makarov: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN head! IT'S GOT MEIN head! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 322-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:59 pm**

OH NO! SPARTAN IS IN CONTAINMENT! THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LIKE SEXY VOICES!!!!!

Back on topic, your SCP needs less bacon

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:09 pm**

FoxMccloud64 wrote:OH NO! SPARTAN IS IN CONTAINMENT! THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LIKE SEXY VOICES!!!!!

Back on topic, your SCP needs less bacon

ok, fixed it

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-322-J

Object Class: spartan

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-322-J is to be kept in a bacon-lined containment chamber located in The Bacon Factory, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 45 bacon manufacturer armed with bacon.

In the event that SCP-322-J ever begins cracking its bacon, Dr. Bacon is to give bacon to SCP-322-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force bacon-7 (''bacon'') is to be dispatched to SCP-322-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-322-J is a badass sexy beast. Like most members of its species, it is able to bacon, and regularly eats twice its own weight in bacon each day.

SCP-322-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with bacon, which causes it to turn into bacon. Whenever this happens, all bacon within a 24 kilometer radius will begin to bacon uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Dr. Isaac. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-322-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-322-J was first located in BACONTOWN where the Chaos Insurgency were using it in order to bacon. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force bacon-7 (''bacon'') was able to recover the object with only 9999 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 322-1

Dr. bacorrr: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr bacorrr, and I am about to test SCP-322's reaction to bacon. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr bacon?
Dr. bacon: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. bacorrr: Excellent! I am now introducing the bacon to 322... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. bacon: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

bacorrr: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN bacon! IT'S GOT MEIN bacon! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 322-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:49 pm**

Damnit Irontaco, I did Hitler too!

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a salad-lined containment chamber located in Fort Knox, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3.14 medical staff armed with bandaids.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins tracking its spleen, Dr Gears is to sexting SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force ε-7 (''LOST'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a excessively huge the European Unladen Swallow. Like most members of its species, it is able to crushing ukulele, and regularly eats twice its own weight in salad each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with barbituates, which causes it to turn into a negative ion. Whenever this happens, all the entire biodiversity of Planet Earth within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to pondering uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Stephen Hawking. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in Marysueville where the the Bengals were using it in order to take over the Tri-State area. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force ε-7 (''LOST'') was able to recover the object with only a googolplex civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to the common cold. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr White?
Dr. White: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the the common cold to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. White: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN head! IT'S GOT MEIN head! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:54 pm**

But I did Hitler...

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:54 pm**

Glitch wrote:But I did Hitler...

That sounded so wrong.

Posted: **Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:54 pm**

Holy cannoli, I just realized how hilarious mine is, mostly because I typed in logical things... "SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with barbituates, which causes it to turn into a negative ion. Whenever this happens, all the entire biodiversity of Planet Earth within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to pondering uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties."

Ahahaha, AHAHA! Heheh... whew *sniffles*

Glitch wrote:But I did Hitler...

No, just no.

Undertow Games Forum

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