Post your Facade Stageplays here

hug0905

Post your Facade Stageplays here

#1 by hug0905

How to post your Facade Stageplays:
1. Download Facade:
Windows Mirror
Macintosh Mirror (For PowerPC Macs Only)
2. Install Facade
3. Right click the Facade Installation Folder and Uncheck "Read Only" and Run the game as Admin (Windows Users Only)
4. Prepare to Feel the comedy.

MINE:

Spoiler

Code: Select all

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Thu May 22 11 25 26 2014

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

BOB
BOB THE BUILDER IS HERE :3

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
God... Trip!

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(BOB knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Bob!! 

TRIP
Ah  I'm so happy you could make it!     We haven't seen you in so long,  how's it going, man?

BOB
IT'S BOB THE BUILDER D00FUS

(BOB kisses trip.)

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Oh... you're doing the European-style greeting...  we just got back from a trip to Italy, but the men didn't do that with each other... um... -- (interrupted)

BOB
SHUT UP AND LET ME IN

TRIP
Oh, um...

TRIP
Well anyway... come in, I guess...

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

(BOB picks up the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Bob, 

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long! 

TRIP
Yeah, it has been a long time. -- (interrupted)

BOB
I'M DRUNK xD

GRACE
Uh...

TRIP
Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!

TRIP
And please, please, we need to break -- (interrupted)

BOB
NUUU

GRACE
Uh...

TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute!

GRACE
Uhh,    Bob,  try -- (interrupted)

BOB
I JUST WANNA BE DRUNK!

GRACE
(little sigh) (clears throat)

GRACE
(little sigh) (clears throat)

TRIP
So!  Drinks!

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Anything you want!

BOB
I AM JUST WANT TO BE DRUNK!

TRIP
We need to have something really fun,

TRIP
like a cosmopolitan?

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a cosmopolitan.

BOB
DRUNK!

GRACE
Bob,  Trip's getting a little carried away...  maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?

BOB
I WANT A COOKIE

TRIP
You know I'm just going to open a bottle of merlot or something, 

GRACE
So anyway,

GRACE
Yeah, we really don't need the fancy drinks -- (interrupted)

BOB
THEN U WILL B DRUNK LIEK ME

TRIP
Oh, yeah, y -- you know, I should fix you a real drink in not too long... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
In terms of drinks...

TRIP
Grace, I know what you want, but I'll ask anyway...  what would you like to drink?

BOB
I JUST WANT TO BE DRUNK!

GRACE
As for my drink...

GRACE
  Um, I'll have a glass of merlot too. 

TRIP
Oh! Good.  Okay.

BOB
GIVE ME THE BEER

(BOB puts down the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Grace, I'm giving you the first glass.

GRACE
Okay, thanks.

GRACE
hmmm   Bob,  seeing you brings -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Trip, no, I want --

TRIP
Grace, come on, don't be rude.

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Why, are you expecting a phone call?

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
No, are you?

TRIP
No...

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,

GRACE
Oh, it's your parents!  I'll get it --

TRIP
Grace, Grace, come on, I don't want to talk to them right now...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...

GRACE
I want to say hello --

BOB
YO MUM SOUNDS STOOPID

TRIP
Alright, here you go!

(BOB picks up a player's drink.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.

GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --

TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber.

ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

GRACE
hmmm   Bob,  seeing you brings back wonderful memories, really...

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

TRIP
Ye -- yeah...

(BOB sips his player's drink.)

(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)

BOB
I AM SOOO DRUNK NAO :D :D :D

GRACE
Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome...!

GRACE
You know what, I'll be right back.

TRIP
Grace, what are you --

GRACE
No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and everything...

BOB
NO ITZ NAT

TRIP
What?  Where are you going?

GRACE
I'll just be in the kitchen.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

BOB
I AM A N00B

TRIP
Um, Grace, uh, my love, could you, uh -- 

TRIP
could you bring out s - some of those... those... herbed goat cheese... flying fish egg... truffle oil vinaigrette...

BOB
LEL

TRIP
thingies... on those fancy crackers?  You know, from our last party... honey? -- (interrupted)

BOB
SHUT UP

TRIP
You know what,    Bob,  that's it, you need to leave.

BOB
NUUU

BOB
NAO

TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

BOB
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

This profile's been around for nearly eight years

RIP

(last edited 10/09/2020)

That Same Anon

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#2 by That Same Anon

could be fun. dont have a computer for 10ish days because moving, so on mobile

I Survived SCP-106's Pocket Dimension And All I Got Was This Stupid ID Card

Jill

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#3 by Jill

Code: Select all

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Thu May 22 21 55 42 2014

TRIP
 Get off my back!  I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

(Tom knocks on the front door.)

(Tom knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What for? -- (interrupted)

TRIP
 It's been a while how's it going? Hey!   It's been too long!  

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TOM
hello wankas

GRACE
God... Trip!

TOM
what

(TOM knocks on the front door.)

(TOM knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
 Tom,  We haven't seen you in so long,  how's it going? (speechless)

TOM
good

TRIP
 God  it's been so long since we've seen you!  Uh... Well come on in... Well, anyway... why don't you come in... -- (interrupted)

TOM
your arm

TRIP
 Ha ha, hi! (unintelligable arguing) seeipg you again makes me remember the good times we all used to have.  uh, thanks... -- (interrupted)

TOM
uh what

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Tom, 

TOM
hi trip

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  God it's been a while! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
And, I've got to say, you look really good!

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
So,    Tom,  I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.  

TOM
trip are you having a stroke

GRACE
Oh, um, well... I want to ask you... 

GRACE
(little sigh) -- (interrupted)

(TOM hugs trip.)

GRACE
That's kind of you, I'm sure Trip's happy to get that.

TRIP
 (unintelligable arguing) lying0.. uhh... quit our jobs... (speechless) (speechless) uh...! yha... well... See, I told you she would like it!  There's nothing wrong with tÿÿÿÿ -- (interrupted)

TOM
trip is talking to himself

TOM
is that normal

GRACE
Ha ha, yeah...

TOM
what the fack

TOM
Who?

GRACE
Uh, well, a view of trees would be better, right?

TOM
yes

GRACE
Yeah. 

GRACE
I'm sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on this room...

TOM
and now trip is silent

TRIP
 What are you talking about?   (big sigh) Oh, thanks, uh, for the hug... Ha ha, he doesn't mean that Grace. (frustrated sigh) Oh that's nice Grace, our friend seems happy

GRACE
Well, I plan to return most of this anyhow.  This room needs to be redone.

GRACE
Tom,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have. 

(TOM hugs grace.)

GRACE
Oh, uh, you're hugging me... -- (interrupted)

TOM
yes

GRACE
(clears throat)

TOM
drinks please

GRACE
Ah you seem to remember how much Trip likes compliments.

TOM
drinks

(TOM hugs trip.)

GRACE
God... you're really laying it on thick tonight! 

TOM
JUST MAKE A DAMN DRINK

GRACE
You know what... I'll be right back.

TRIP
 She's just kidding around! (little impatient sigh) uh, tuscan sun dried tomato... sliced kiwi... Grace, uh, has a passion for hors doeurves, uh...  uh... If -- if it fit ÿÿÿÿcracker, Grace will put it there. -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, stay put, I'll just be in the kitchen.

(TOM comforts trip.)

(TOM hugs trip.)

TOM
what

TRIP
 Grace could come back any second! (little impatient sigh) Grace could come back any second! come on, don't get me in more trouble than I already am! I...  uhh... Excelletÿÿÿÿu've got good taste. Oh, but this is a very special bottle of wine..0! -- (interrupted)

TOM
trip please

GRACE
I didn't want this to happen tonight... -- (interrupted)

(TOM hugs grace.)

GRACE
What?  Oh...  

(TOM comforts grace.)

GRACE
Tom,  -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Look, the things you've said tonight, I know what you're trying to say...

GRACE
Alright, alright, everything's fine, let's just, let's just go back to the living room... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Everything's fine...

TOM
dont hashtag IRL m8

TRIP
ing to open an exquisite Bordeaux!

GRACE
Trip our friend isn't as excited by your suggestion as you are.

GRACE
God Trip, you're just like my dad with the whole wine snob thing.

TOM
margaritas pls

GRACE
Tom,  maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TOM
margarita

Game then crashed.

wtf.

Note the ingame subtitles were also pretty broke, and had random characters here and there hence the "dont hashtag IRL m8" thing.

"now that the victim is in place, the killing bite will be administered in 10 seconds." --Valve.

Beware the man that speaks in hands.

☜☝☞☟ ✌

hug0905

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#4 by hug0905

Spoiler

Code: Select all

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Fri May 23 11 01 58 2014

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!

GRACE
What -- Trip, don't give me that look!

AMY
-kirby hai-

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
You're going to drive me crazy! -- (interrupted)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, she's here!

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said she's coming an hour from now!

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, she's supposed to be here now!

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Trip...!

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Amy!! 

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you!     It's been a while -- (interrupted)

AMY
I AM FROM SONIC

(AMY kisses trip.)

TRIP
Uh...

(AMY kisses trip.)

TRIP
Oh, ha ha, the European greeting!  I love it! We just got back from Italy where they do that all the time!

TRIP
Come on in!

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing) -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Amy, 

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long! 

TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing?

AMY
UR GLICHIG FRUN DA WALL

GRACE
Uh...

AMY
I WANT 2 KISS U

(AMY kisses grace.)

GRACE
Oh, yes,  mm-wah! (kiss on cheek) You're so sweet.

(AMY kisses grace.)

GRACE
Yeah,  I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.  

(Trip closes the front door.)

AMY
NAI

GRACE
Oh, um, well... I want to ask you... 

GRACE
(little sigh) With this room I was trying for a kind of post modern style...

TRIP
Well yeah, I think that comes across.

AMY
THE ROOM LOOKS LIKE YO MUM

GRACE
but it is clearly just -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate... 

(AMY sits on the couch.)

(AMY gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out.

(AMY picks up a trinket 3.)

GRACE
I'm sure I can return -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Yeah...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, I've been collecting these little glass sculptures for a long time now.

TRIP
There's nothing wrong with them...

AMY
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS HOU

TRIP
See, Grace, no one has a problem with your decorating, it's fine!

GRACE
Well, I plan to return most of this anyhow.  This room needs to be redone.

TRIP
(little sigh)

AMY
THERE IS PROBLEMS WITH THIS

(AMY puts down a trinket 3.)

GRACE
Oh I didn't want my decorating to become a major topic of conversation tonight... I'm going to get it redone this week, so...  -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Amy,  let me get you a drink.

AMY
GIVE ME THE JUICE

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

PHONE
** RING **

(AMY picks up the phone.)

GRACE
Amy,  no!  Please don't do that.

PHONE
Grace?  Hello? 

PHONE
Who is this?  Grace is that you?

AMY
HAI DIS IZ GRACE

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

TRIP
Oh!

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up.

(AMY puts down the phone.)

GRACE
Oh, good, you hung up. I can call him back later, or in a few days, heh.

TRIP
I wanted to say hello --

GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...

GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --

GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they expect me to drive up to the house in Connecticut to attend all their stupid socialite charity benefits and parties, it's so tiresome.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
Well... it didn't take long for you two to...  bond, or whatever...

AMY
GIVE ME THE JUICE

TRIP
Amy,  let me get you a drink.

TRIP
Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of cocktail making accessories.

AMY
GIVE ME THE JUICE

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, time for a drink.

AMY
JUICE

TRIP
Oh, but let's enjoy ourselves tonight...!

AMY
JUICE FOR GOD SAKE

TRIP
How about a martini?

TRIP
Oh, that's no fun...!

GRACE
Trip we don't all share your infatuation with mixed drinks.

GRACE
Amy,  you'd prefer a simple glass of juice, right?

AMY
YES

GRACE
Okay, Trip, that's what she wants!

TRIP
No no, that's fine, that's fine... 

TRIP
(little sigh) Excuse me for wanting to enjoy ourselves...

TRIP
Grace, I assume you want your usual... 'a lovely, very cold glass of Chardonnay'.

GRACE
I'm happy to just have what our guest is having.

TRIP
  Okay.

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Oh God,    Amy,  this isn't much fun for you, is it?

(AMY picks up a Grace's drink.)

TRIP
What?

TRIP
Here Grace, yours is ready.

GRACE
Thanks.

AMY
ITS GETTING FUN ALREADY :D

TRIP
Anyway...

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to -- (interrupted)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, no no no -- we're not disagreeing.

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Alright, good, heh heh, maybe you're on my side tonight after all, ha ha.

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

(AMY sips her Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Oh,    Amy,  I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course she'll like it!

AMY
NO! I DON'T WANT DAT!

GRACE
Oh no, no, go look at Trip's Italy photo...

(AMY puts down a Grace's drink.)

GRACE
Amy,  this is making you uncomfortable.   See Trip, was it really worth it to fly us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane picture?

(AMY picks up a player's drink.)

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

GRACE
  (little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go to bed.

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

TRIP
Grace...!

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

(AMY sips her player's drink.)

TRIP
Amy,  this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.

(AMY puts down a player's drink.)

(AMY picks up a player's drink.)

GRACE
Oh, was that what it was?  Huh, I'm always the last to know.

(AMY puts down a player's drink.)

(AMY picks up a player's drink.)

(AMY puts down a player's drink.)

(AMY picks up a Grace's drink.)

(AMY puts down a Grace's drink.)

(AMY picks up a Grace's drink.)

(AMY puts down a Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Grace, I wanted us to spend some time together...!

GRACE
Trip thinks carting me off to Europe will, how did you put it, thaw me out a little bit?

TRIP
Ahh, this is bullshit!

AMY
I AM A RACIST SO EUROPE SUCK

TRIP
No don't criticize me anymore, it's just going to turn this even more ugly! 

GRACE
Thaw me out...

AMY
SHUT THE FREAK UP

GRACE
Trip, you think you're so romantic... but -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Huh?  What, what was that?

AMY
SHUT UP N00B

GRACE
What?!?  That's awful, where did that come from?  You're acting ridiculous!

AMY
QUIET!

TRIP
Uhh, uh, can you, can you -- can you just...

TRIP
Your goddamn parents...

AMY
SHUT UP TRIP!

TRIP
You know what,    Amy,  that's it, you need to leave.

AMY
NOOO

TRIP
Amy,  come on, you've got to go.

AMY
NUUU

TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?

AMY
GRACE! HELP!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

AMY
FREAK U!

This profile's been around for nearly eight years

RIP

(last edited 10/09/2020)

Jill

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#5 by Jill

Hug's stageplays in one line:

Code: Select all

(X knocks on the front door.)

"now that the victim is in place, the killing bite will be administered in 10 seconds." --Valve.

Beware the man that speaks in hands.

☜☝☞☟ ✌

hug0905

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#6 by hug0905

...On the other unreleated note, it seems as using a word before adding "melon" works:

Spoiler

Code: Select all

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat May 24 19 29 55 2014

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses? -- (interrupted)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, she's here!

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said she's coming an hour from now!

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, she's supposed to be here now!

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Trip...!

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Audrey!! 

AUDREY
HELLO MELON

TRIP
Ah  I'm so happy you could make it!     -- (interrupted)

(Trip closes the front door.)

AUDREY
YES IT WORKED!

This profile's been around for nearly eight years

RIP

(last edited 10/09/2020)

hug0905

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#7 by hug0905

If you think you cannot talk and you will STILL win, think again.....

Spoiler

Code: Select all

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun May 25 17 21 43 2014

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

(Brad knocks on the front door.)

(Brad knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Brad!! 

TRIP
Hey!   God  it's been so long since we've seen you!    How are you doing, man?

TRIP
Well let's not talk out here!

TRIP
Come on in!

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Brad, 

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  God it's been a while!

TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing?

GRACE
I just asked him that...

TRIP
Well I'm asking him too!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
Well, make yourself at home, come on in!

TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.  

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.  

GRACE
Brad,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.  -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

TRIP
Grace, no, I want --

GRACE
Trip, please dear, don't be rude.

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
It's probably just the cleaning service cancelling on us again, it's so hard to find good help these days.

PHONE
** RING **

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.

TRIP
Oh, it's your parents!  I'll get it --

GRACE
Trip, Trip, please, I don't want to talk to them right now...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.

TRIP
I want to say hello --

GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...

GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.

ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --

ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all.  Uh, goodbye.

GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they expect me to drive up to the house in Connecticut to attend all their stupid socialite charity benefits and parties, it's so tiresome.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Brad,  let me get you a drink.

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests.

TRIP
How about a martini?

TRIP
Grace's dad taught me how to make these, it's a really classy drink.

GRACE
uhh...  you and your high class drinks...

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini.

GRACE
No no, 

GRACE
Brad,  maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
Oh come on...

TRIP
You know what why I don't I just open a bottle of merlot and make it easy.  

GRACE
Yes, sometimes a simple glass of wine is better than those fancy drinks you always insist on making.

TRIP
Grace, I assume you want your usual... 'a lovely, very cold glass of Chardonnay'.

GRACE
  Yes. A glass of Chardonnay would be nice.

TRIP
Of course.

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Brad,  you're not enjoying this are you?

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend.

TRIP
Here you are Grace, your drink is ready.

GRACE
Thanks.

TRIP
Anyway...

TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful...

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?!  We're NOT disagreeing.  We're, we're not.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus.

GRACE
Huh, you two really are getting along well tonight, heh...

TRIP
Oh,    Brad,  I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!

(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)

TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.

GRACE
(short petulant sigh)

GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.

TRIP
Um...  uhh, Now,    Brad,  in one word, what does this picture say to you?

GRACE
Say to you... say to you... yes, good question, good question.

TRIP
Grace stayed behind in the hotel room when I was out taking this picture, so...

TRIP
Come on, in one word, what does this say to you?

GRACE
How about controlling.

TRIP
God, I want us to go see the Italian art she likes, so I'm controlling.   (little sigh) Just one word for this.

GRACE
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Brad,  are you alright?  You've not said a word for a while now.

TRIP
What's the deal, are you okay?

TRIP
Say something.

TRIP
Okay,    Brad,  I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

(Brad points to the elevator button.)

(Brad points to the elevator button.)

So yeah.....

This profile's been around for nearly eight years

RIP

(last edited 10/09/2020)

Lord Bacon

Re: Post your Facade Stageplays here

#8 by Lord Bacon

TRIP DISPRASES LORD BACON!

Spoiler

Code: Select all

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun May 25 20 25 09 2014

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Ben!! 

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you!     -- (interrupted)

BEN
Bacon Lord Came For A Visit

TRIP
Ha ha ha!

TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.

TRIP
So come on in!

BEN
What are you talkign abotu?

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing) -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Ben, 

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long! 

BEN
What is this place?

GRACE
Oh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!

GRACE
Make yourself at home, come on in!

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.  

BEN
I AM A PEACE OF BACON IDIOT

GRACE
Uh...

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.

TRIP
Grace, oh, no, we don't need to do that.

BEN
Your room needs Bacon.

TRIP
Well, it's funny how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace finds the time to decorate... and re-decorate... 

GRACE
Ha ha, uhh, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out. 

GRACE
(frustrated sigh) So I was trying to find a style for this room...

GRACE
but it is clearly not happening at all.  This is such a mess.

BEN
Bacon Style?

GRACE
Uh, well, this room is a complete mess, isn't it?

TRIP
(clears throat)

BEN
Bacon

TRIP
See, Grace, everybody always loves your decorating!   It's beautiful.

GRACE
Trip, darling, this room is just -- (interrupted)

BEN
NEEDS BACON 

TRIP
Ben,  uhh, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!

TRIP
Heh heh,    Ben,  seeing you again makes me remember the good times we all used to have. 

GRACE
Yes...

BEN
SETENCED FOR DISPRASING ME

TRIP
Oh, well, uh, I've -- I've missed you.

BEN
NO

TRIP
N -- no, no, tonight is special!

TRIP
Ben,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us. 

TRIP
Senior year of college!

BEN
You dispraise bacon

GRACE
Oh... geez... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration. 

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Probably true.

BEN
BACON MINIONS

TRIP
Oh, well...

TRIP
Oh,    Ben,  I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.

GRACE
  Might like it?  It's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!

GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.

TRIP
Um...  now,,    Ben,  what does this picture make you think of?

BEN
Bacon

TRIP
Mmm... no...

GRACE
Hey, what's wrong with that?  That's a perfectly good answer!

TRIP
Uhh, n -- no just take a look,  this says...

GRACE
I liked that.

BEN
Bacon

TRIP
Romance!  It says... romance...!

GRACE
Romance!  Oh, romance!  That was tricky!  Good one, Trip.

BEN
No, it saids bacon!

GRACE
Oh, please, no more talk about the Italy trip tonight, if you don't mind...

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Heh, heh, I wouldn't if I were you, heh, ho.

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, this crazy thing, always giving me the wrong advice, heh.

GRACE
Trip, are you going to carry that thing around all evening?

TRIP
Sorry...!

TRIP
(little sigh)

TRIP
Ah,    Ben,  maybe you didn't come here to hear this...

BEN
Can i have that dangerous device?

GRACE
What?

GRACE
N -- no, wait, what's wrong, Trip?

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?!  We're NOT disagreeing.  

BEN
GIVE ME THE DEVICE

GRACE
What...?

TRIP
Ah,    Ben,  what we really need here... 

TRIP
are some drinks!

GRACE
Oh, is that what we need...

TRIP
When it comes to drinking, I -- I generally avoid temptation heh unless I can't resist it.

TRIP
Ah I know... I'm going to open us a magnificent, I mean, astounding Bordeaux.  

TRIP
Best of the best, you can't buy this in stores... Very, very special --

GRACE
God Trip, you are such a wine snob.  Just like my dad.

TRIP
I'll take that as a compliment.     Ben,  what do you say?

BEN
I want the Bacon Beer Deluxe.

TRIP
Oh, come on, let's enjoy ourselves tonight, this wine will be so good.  So good.

GRACE
Ben,  maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

BEN
Bacon Beer Deluxe!

TRIP
Yeah, no, we need to open this wine!  Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!

BEN
Bacon Beer Deluxe!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
I've been dying to try this Bordeaux for a long time, this is the perfect opportunity --

GRACE
That's not our anniversary wine is it?

GRACE
That's not the Bordeaux we saved from our wedding, that we were going to drink on our tenth wedding anniversary, RIGHT?!

BEN
Bacon Beer Deluxe

TRIP
Whoops.

TRIP
Ahh, this is bullshit!

GRACE
Ahh, no, you're full of shit!

BEN
BACON BEER DELUXE

GRACE
Our anniversary wine!

(BEN picks up the advice ball.)

TRIP
Ben,  wait, I can't fix you a drink right now!

(The advice ball reads, "Why Not")

GRACE
Sometimes I feel like our whole marriage is just for show!  I don't know what you really -- (interrupted)

BEN
Is trip stupid?

(BEN shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
No don't criticize me anymore, it's just going to turn this even more ugly! 

(The advice ball reads, "Never")

TRIP
(little impatient sigh)     Ben,  can you believe this?

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

BEN
NEVER? WORTHLESS DEVICE!

(BEN puts down the advice ball.)

TRIP
Are -- what, w - what are you saying me, what?

GRACE
So... damn... critical...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!

TRIP
Oh, come on...!

BEN
With Bacon

GRACE
Alright, you know what,     Ben, 

GRACE
I need to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

GRACE
Ben,  yes or no...

GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn't one person try to make their spouse a better person, even if they don't want it?

BEN
No

TRIP
What?

BEN
Bacon

GRACE
Look, you don't need answer, I don't need to hear anymore!

GRACE
Don't you see, Trip?!  Our marriage... is a sham, Trip!  Don't you see that?  It's all fake, all pretend...

TRIP
Oh, come on...!

TRIP
Yeah, go on, get out of my face! 

TRIP
I can't even frigging look at you.

BEN
Bacon

TRIP
Goddammit, Grace!

BEN
Bacon

TRIP
What are you saying?  What?

BEN
Bacon

GRACE
What? Are you talking to me?

TRIP
No!

BEN
Bacon

GRACE
Ben,  (annoyed sigh) Trip can just be so...

BEN
Bacon

TRIP
Oh ho, so we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

BEN
Let's talk about Lord Bacon!

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Aha!

GRACE
Ben,  you're saying I'm... not communicative?   No, that's just wrong, I'm the one here who is able to actually say things...

BEN
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT BACON

GRACE
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.

GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine...

TRIP
You think I'm not good enough...!

GRACE
I never said that! I'm saying there's more to you -- (interrupted)

BEN
TALK ABOUT BACON MINIONS

TRIP
Yeah, I -- I have good taste...!  I know about... mmm... wines... and stuff!

GRACE
Ugh.

BEN
You know about bacon?

GRACE
No, I want us to focus on Trip.

GRACE
Ben,  every time Trip is unhappy he rushes out and buys some new gadget. -- (interrupted)

BEN
No! Bacon!

TRIP
No?

TRIP
See Grace, as usual you're making something out of nothing...

GRACE
Uhh...

GRACE
No let's -- let's focus on us, our relationship.

GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!

TRIP
What...?

GRACE
Trip, it is such an act! -- (interrupted)

BEN
YOU MUST NOW DIE BY LB

TRIP
Okay,    Ben,  I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

TRIP
Ben,  we're through messing around, you've got to go.

(Trip opens the front door.)

BEN
YOU DISPRACE BACON!

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

I am the bacon lord; worship the bacon lord or you are sentence to eat bacon for the rest of your life.

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