Output: Your mother

Input: A bottle of moonshine. Coarse

Output: Your ass

Input: Destructoid's dildo
setting: Very fine

Output: One fully animate two dimensional organism. Preliminary observations show it may be "Rainbow Dash" from the popular children's show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." Object transferred to the care of Dr. Rights.

"ITS SO FUCKING CUTE" -Dr. Rights

Input: Thisisme
Setting: Very fine

Output: shit
"Yep, its now a fact. Trolls are worse than anything"-Dr.Isaac

Input: Dr. Bright
Setting: Coarse

Output: One of Dr. Bright's simian incarnations. Subject terminated upon flinging shit at staff.

Input: Dynamite
Setting: Rough

Output: Fireworks

Input: A time paradox
Setting: Very fine

spartan322 wrote:Output: Fireworks

It was put into Rough...

Output: George Washington, rule 63'd.

Input: An FN P90
Setting: Fine

Output: A futuristical FN P90

Input: A note saying "......NOPE......."
on very fine

FoxMccloud64 wrote:Output: A futuristical FN P90

Input: A note saying "......NOPE......."
on very fine

Machine produced a spatial anomaly that [DATA EXPUNGED]. Surviving personnel refused to visit SCP-914 for several consecutive weeks, all interviews have been responded to with the same answer "NOPE."

Input: 100% Virgin Wool Blanket
Setting: 1:1