Intake: Dr. Bright
Setting: Very Fine

Don't ask.

Output: Dr. Bright with enhanced physical capabilities. Subject proceeded to do everything on the "Things Dr. Bright is not Allowed to do at The Foundation" list .
Intake Booth: 1 Mole Cricket and 1 Box Turtle on very fine.

Output: A horribly mutated bot cricket turtle creature. It ate 1 of the scientist, but has been terminated
Input: 6 pack of beer and 1 box of smokes on fine

Output: Very delicious beer and sum SCP-420-J.
Intake Booth: 1 instance of SCP-006-J on rough.
"OH GOD KILL IT!!!!1 PUT IT ON ROUGH!!!" 05-3 reacting to SCP-006-J
"Is this necessary?" - Dr. Being

Output: A squished instance of 006-J.

Note: “Get rid of that thing! Yuck!“ ~05-3 Personnel

Input: Gabe Newell, Setting: Very Fine

Note: “Let‘s put money showers for Mr. Newell. Heh.“ ~Dr. Bright

Output: Gabe Newell with lots of moneyz.
Intake Booth: 1 two-headed snake and 1 lb. of gold on very fine.

Output: A solid gold statue of a stylized two-headed serpent.

Input: 1 small bag of gummy worms.
Setting: Fine.

Output: Tuurngait infected worms.

“Contain them! Quickly!“

Input: The Encyclopedia of Common Diseases, Setting: Rough

Output: The Encyclopedia of Deadly Diseases

"NO! DON'T READ IT!"

Input: A Taco Bell 12 pack, setting: Fine

Output: A Taco Bell 24-pack. When consumed, [DATA EXPUNGED].

"Okay, someone go add that to the Encyclopedia of Deadly Diseases. And for the love of God, get a Class D with a hazmat suit to clean out the bathrooms." -O5-3

Input: Class D with a hazmat suit, Fine

"Don't worry, sir. This should help. There's no way this could possibly go wrong, right?" Dr. P.

"God dammit, if you jinxed this, you're on Keter duty for a week." -O5-3