Granted, you copy an upvoted SCP article and just change the number, but as soon as people find out, you get a permaban from the SCP foundation site.

I wish SCP-079 was real and did everything I told him to do.

Granted, but again, the Foundation finds out that you have one of their artifacts and kills you.

I wish for an unbreakable wish that could be broken.

Cpbald wrote:Granted, but again, the Foundation finds out that you have one of their artifacts and kills you.

I wish for an unbreakable wish that could be broken.

Granted, but you are criticized for your unoriginality.

I wish I was a demon hunter.

Awesomeguy147 wrote: I wish I was a demon hunter.

Granted, but then you get killed by a Bear(?)
I wish Windows updates on Windows 8.1 were not faulty.

Granted, but now every other Windows version is faulty.

I wish that those MTF dudes would STAHP killing me while I smoke 420J.

Cpbald wrote:Granted, but now every other Windows version is faulty.

I wish that those MTF dudes would STAHP killing me while I smoke 420J.

Granted, now 106 spawns when you smoke 420J.

I wish I had an air conditioner.

Granted, now the air is silky soft, but still blazing hot.

I wish for a burrito. Oh, and I want a bunch of cheese in it, too

Granted, it's so hot that it sets your head on fire.

I wish I had a Samsung Galaxy S5.

Granted, but it's broken.

I wish my friend Noah would listen to me.

Cpbald wrote: I wish my friend Noah would listen to me.

Granted, but Noah's ears exploded when he starts listening to you.
I wish Ubuntu wasn't hard to navagate.