Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#491
Glitch wrote:Instances of SCP-<insert number here>/sentient ponies start appearing on earth, the Foundation, as with all anomalous objects, start containing them, originally in sites with other SCP's, but eventually moved them all to their own site.
Perfect. Simple and straghtforward, requires no confusing explanations.

Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#493
I spent little time putting any if those together, of coarse there is going to be plot holes. Rough drafts are never complete stories, they are ideas put down on paper. I also have a small case of dyslexia making it harder for me than most.

I have nothing els to do, because I don't have a computer at home I can use. I'm also on fall break until next monday.

I haven't gotten to Rarity or Applejack yet.

Most of your points are correct. I will fix all of the mistakes once I get Rarity and Applejack done.

I posted those to get an overall opinion, not for you guys to break down every line of it.

How come so much anger? Did I do something wrong other than provide "terrible" story?
The day I quit is tha day I die.

Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#494
Pony wrote:I posted those to get an overall gudgement, not one where you break down every line of it.
It's called criticing. If you're goining to fix the story you have to know about all its flaws.
Pony wrote:How come so much anger? Did I do something wrong other than provide "terrible" story?
Why do you assume I'm angry? You can't hear my tone of voice through text.

Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#496
CommanderPro100 wrote:
Glitch wrote:Instances of SCP-<insert number here>/sentient ponies start appearing on earth, the Foundation, as with all anomalous objects, start containing them, originally in sites with other SCP's, but eventually moved them all to their own site.
Perfect. Simple and straghtforward, requires no confusing explanations.
/me is surprised Commander agrees with me considering all the douchebaggery I have caused throughout the year.

But yeah, I do agree the story has quite a few inconsistently and is slightly long winded.
I'm not here as much right now, mention me on our Discord server if you need anything.

Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#497
Hmm, lack of consistency for Luna's story? Alright, well that's something that'll hopefully be ironed out before long. Story length might be another thing. After all, these documents are only so long in length...
The Nightmares...will last...FOREVEEEEERRRRR!
In the event that Nightmare Tank tries to take charge, Dr. Glitch is to warn it, until it ceases its behaviour.

Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#499
Hold on a minute Luna. I don't think you should push for those yet. Maybe go back along the current revisions and patch them up as advised. I think this would be best. Quality over quantity, right guys?
The Nightmares...will last...FOREVEEEEERRRRR!
In the event that Nightmare Tank tries to take charge, Dr. Glitch is to warn it, until it ceases its behaviour.

Re: SCP - Containment is Magic Mod

#500
Very well. I'll revise what I have.

I revised Rainbow's story. What do you think?
Spoiler
Twilight Sparkle had designated Rainbow Dash to fly all around Equestria to search for Nightmare Moon. Knowing Fluttershy would be too scared to go on her own, Twilight sent Fluttershy with Rainbow to assist her. During their search, Rainbow and Fluttershy had herd disembodied laughter. Searching frantically for its source, Fluttershy had noticed Rainbow's Element of Harmony slowly disappear, as if it was sinking into her neck. She immediately told Rainbow Dash who suspected Discord to be behind it, and began searching the immediate area for the draconaquus.

Several hours later, Rainbow unexpectedly lost control and crash landed on a nearby cloud. Fluttershy had flown over to investigate, but couldn't find her anywhere. She reported the incident to Princesses Celestia and Luna. They had told Fluttershy to stay in Canterlot, because they knew Fluttershy was too fearful to go alone, and they had no idea where any of her friends were.

Once she was sure Fluttershy couldn't hear her, Celestia told a royal guard to order the LTF Foundation to go on a search and rescue. After several days of searching Ponyville, field crews had decided to try the Everfree Forest. Foundation personnel eventually found an area in the Everfree where the trees had mostly fallen. A mucus-like substance found on their barks was presumed to be the cause. It was also rainbow-coloured, which suggested Rainbow Dash was connected to this. Rainbow Dash was later found attacking a foundation employee. Before back up could reach the employee, both he and Rainbow had disappeared. The next day, his body was found in the Everfree. It was mostly corroded by the same rainbow-coloured mucus found on the trees in that area.

Weeks later, after several attempts at containing Rainbow Dash, Dr. Jack Bright had produced a theory on Rainbow's abilities. After seeing her pass through trees and spread the mucus onto them in one attempt, he theorized that Rainbow possessed the ability to pass through solid matter. He also theorized that when she disappears with people, she takes them to what was called a "Pocket Dimension" where she would then hunt and kill her victims, discarding their body back into Equestria. The corroded body from the first incident further supported his theory that she would kill them in her Pocket Dimension, before getting rid of their remains. Dr. Bright also gave an idea on how to contain her. This was to provide a "lure subject", break his/her stifle (horses thy), and lift a containment unit via a mag-lev system once Rainbow had appeared. Field crews were immediately successful at containing her.
Last edited by Pony on Thu Oct 17, 2013 6:48 am, edited 5 times in total.
The day I quit is tha day I die.
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